Last Night Candle Light

      Ill make this as brief as possible, but I wanted to get this one moment in time, before I let it fade into the past.

     In order to get ready for Poland, we had a bonding time with our group, Gadid. We all lit candles, and did this thing were we tapped a person if they made a impact on our lives, (The Counselors announced like "made you smile" or "want to know better"). We then got a 2 and a King, in order to symbolize our best and worst moments in our lives. We shared them with the group, and I felt the entire group just get closer by sharing personal moments with people we hardly knew a few weeks before. It was incredible...

     At the closing of this bonding time, in the dark, on the basketball court, in the chilly weather, we took our 2's symbolizing out worst memories and burned them in the candles we originally lit. It was a liberating moment, from our past, and bonded us for our future embarkments. 

Purim Festives

     Last night started Purim!!! We held a short service were we read Magillah Ester. I read a small part of it, too! Although I'm pretty sure I messed up a whole bunch... and there's a good chance no one was even paying attention, I'm proud I didn't completely back out. I nearly cried when I got up there though. I practiced for an hour (seeing as I got it during lunch) but I felt like I didn't know any of it! I was just SO happy to get it over with. During the service, there was a dance showing the king trying to pick out the girl he wanted to replace Queen Vashti. It was HYSTERICAL! The boys dressed in skirts and bikini tops with scarves and dresses were worn too. They were belly dancing and it was just indescribably funny! When the dance was over and the service finished up, we had a dance party. It was a nice attempt, but the music was pretty bad. I had fun looking at the costumes and the sparkling/shiny accessories of the people who did decide the music was dance-able to, though. I found a lot of the costumes funny and very cool. I was dressed as a pink Faeri... tutu, wings, and all! 

     Today, we got to wake up at 9! We also went to a Purim parade! It was soo much fun! We had to get into groups of four, but mine was six. We just scaled the entire section of the street we were on. There were colourful floats and little kids dancing in the streets. It was a really nice parade. We were only at the parade for an hour and a half, but we then voted to go to Tel Aviv 15 minutes away (or at least it felt like it.. I could have fallen asleep on the bus). Here we ran through the festival in the streets with booths and stalls set up to sell various things. I saw I guy setting up, and in a few minutes my entire group and I were front row for a cool street performer. He did a bunch of fire tricks and dancing with the fire. It was a cool performance. 

     We got back to the kibbutz, but we met with the madrachim at 7:30. They brought us into the woods and we had a nice camp fire. We sang songs (some Hebrew ones were thrown in) and made smores! This was really a nice close to our Purim. Today over all was a pretty awesome day. 

Weekend Break

Rachel and I once again went out for the weekend to Noa's house. Already making ourselves at home with her parents and younger sister, I love going to see them all. They are by far the most awesome people to spend our very few weekends with. This weekend started out with EIE going to Tel Aviv to the mall. There I met one of my friend's friends. She was very cool. We spent a nice time in the mall, were me and Martine broke off quite a bit and walked around sporadically checked out stores. All of us then got back to the Kibbutz were I crashed! 

     The next morning was out Tikun Olam Project. This time we went to Asbestos Valley by the Monster in Jerusalem. It was were the border of Jordan and Israel once was, making it a buffer ground for so many years. The Jerusalem Council decided to make it a park and clean it up, so that's were our group came in. We helped (like many groups before us) to clean this valley. It was hard work trying to mulch even a small terrace, after cleaning out all the trash from it. After our hard work we set up a fire and made pita! It was soo tasty, by far my favorite thing to eat and make. It reminded me of K'far Teva (nature village) from Eisner. 

     At the end of the pita making/eating, we got picked up and made our way to Noa's house. Once we got there, we hung out for a bit, made a cake and went to her friend's house for her birthday! We met up with all the kids Rachel and I met last time, and had a really fun time hanging out and dressing up! It's Purim tomorrow, and she had all these costumes which all the boys decided to try on. It was a really funny night. Today we woke up pretty late and made pancakes. We also started cutting boxes while watching Grey's Anatomy with her parents. We were cutting the boxes to put treats in them so she could give her friends for Purim. We also made Hummantashins ... or however you spell it. All I can say was this weekend was very relaxing, and I had a fun time! 

Eilat

      Sitting in my bed, in a hostle, in Eilat, I can only think about the soft blanket, bed, and clean shower I have acess to. Yesterday ended our five day Gadna adventure. Even though it was out last day, it wasn't our easiest. Waking up, again, at 5:45, we had breakfast shortly after. Starting as an already "typical" Gadna morning, it quickly turned to the abnormal when we walked out of the base to a near by reserve. It was the burial site of David Ben Gurion and his wife. Here is where we held our closing ceremony.

      After the ceremony, we headed back to the base and returned our uniforms, blankets, sleeping bags, and mattresses. At lunch, we sat down by the basketball court were we held all our formal ceremonies, aside from the closing one. Here is when we finally got to know our Mfakedet. I learned she was only 18 years old! We also FINALLY learned her name after this long week of only referring to her as "commander." She also told us we were her 12th group, first one from abroad, and the hardest group to not bond with over the week! She really liked us! She called us the best group (or at least she hinted at it by calling us "perfect"). Humorously, she invited to facebook her (after hearing ALL week about what photos and such we are putting on facebook! haha). She also gave us her e-mail to keep in contact with her! Getting on the bus to leave Gadna, was actually saddening, but, no lie, I couldn't WAIT to take a shower!

       We arrived in Eilat in the afternoon, but only after visiting a kibbutz known for their dairy products & ice cream. We quickly aquatinted ourselves with our hostile rooms, and did I forget to mention SHOWERS?! Haha, we all showered and basked in the glory of all that is clean! We met up in the chadar ochel, and then when to the mall/boardwalk nearby. It was a gorgeous boardwalk on the Red Sea, and I had a lot of fun.

     Today, wake up was at the lovely time of 7:30. Also, the breakfast WASN'T nutella and stale bread! How great could life be? We headed to the beach on the Red Sea after a short presentation on coral reefs. I went snorkeling for the first time here! It was also the first time I have ever seen a coral reef in person! It was gorgeous, but with this I was also gravely disappointed. I could physically see the affects of human interaction. Not trash, but, you could see a majority of the coral reef (they said about 68%) dead. I'm happy I saw this reef, but It also made me consious about human affects on our planet. After spendning a little more time on the beach, we came back to the Eilat Hostel, and wait for it.... I took another shower! After my second lovely shower since Gadna, we went back outside and I went boardwalk window shopping. 

       The Sabbath coming in tonight, we held a service, like every other Friday night. This one was a little more unique though. At the end of the service, the leader started playing the songs with much more ruach and before we knew it we started to break out into a long song session! It was a blast. WELL, I have to go to bed because boy am I exaughisted! I'll get a great eight hours in this soft, soft, clean, good-smelling bed! Lilah Tov!

My Hope, My Pride, My Protection

     I have had both a long day and packed schedule today and yesterday. Wake up at 6:15 yesterday, we had to get ready in 20 minutes which is much shorter when you figure in going to the bathroom on a long line and putting on your uniform correctly. We went to breakfast (which has only so far consisted of chocolate spread and bread.. you get sick of it fast) and then the the flag raising ceremony. It was a nice ceremony, but I don't think it impacted me as it should of. Despite my thoughts on the literal flag raising, something a women who spoke at the ceremony really hit hard. It was very moving. The thing is, with so much happening in a such a short time, I cannot recall exactly what she had said. Only that I was really struck by it and felt proud to be in the Israeli uniform. The pride and unity she spoke of was presented with words I might of forgotten, but the feeling they gave me still hasn't worn off. 

     Later, we had two classes about both the national anthem Hatikvah, and the Israeli flag. Described to us with the emotion of a mfaketed (commander) serving her country, I got the sense of an indescribable pride and simple emotion form the Jewish people yearning for the hope of continuing as a sovereign nation and people. Last night, we closed by having a program about the Israeli army programs that they offer. I found two of the three army programs very interesting, and they struck me with an odd sense of urgency. One for two months, and the other real army time & Alyiah (which included a kibbutz lifestyle and an adoptive family to get started in Israel). 

      The embodiment of so much opportunity stood in front of me, in the form of these two programs which tied together, and while exciting me it also scared me. I want to serve my country, my homeland, my holy land; I, again, feel a sense of urgency, but also, an obligation with an irrevocable "get up, stand up" feel to it. To "get up, stand up" for what I believe in: a Jewish homeland. With this, however, the idea of leaving my family & friends in the US to start from scratch here frightens me to no end. I could not envision myself abandoning my entire past, despite the opportunities for my future. Different people, things, & settings have never thrown me into a free-fall like this. This idea of making Alyiah and joining the army feels like a bottomless pit to me, filled with opportunity but also scary. While people have done it before me, I doubt it always has the same happy ending for everyone. Despite all these feelings of uncertainty, I think I might want to find the ending of this abyss. I'm not sure.

      With this particular train of thought aside,  and on a much more superficial note, yesterday we did a LOT of training. In short, I learned the process of handling, dismantling, reassembling, and shooting an M16. More impressively, both in Hebrew and English. I held a gun for the first time and it was such a rush of adrenaline, from my fingertips to toes. I have to admit, I was a little too excited to pick up this deadly weapon, but I guess a majority of us, teens, were. By the end of the day I had a basic understanding of the 128 part M16 & ready to practice with ammunition.

      5:45 wake up call, early breakfast, on the bus, arrive at the shooting range at 7 or 8. I was really excited. Listing to the commands in both in Hebrew and then English for clarification, I got out of achshav position and dropped to the ground. A few minutes later, I followed the orders of my Mem'em (the position above mafaketet/commander), when she said aish. Within five minutes all of my 11 bullets were emptied out onto the target range, along with the 14 other kids I was shooting with. Commanded every step of the way, from how we stand, setting the safety switch, to when to pull the trigger, we picked up the shells and darted to pick up the targets (cleaning up) as fast as possible. I hit my target 6 times, which isn't bad at all for my first time. Some kids didn't even hit the target once, leading me to celebrate my small victory. The shooting range was a highlight of today, and I am very proud I shot my first firearm & managed to hit my target. Even better yet, now that I have shot a gun for a first time, I can proudly say hopefully never again. 

      The shooting range was a cool part of today, but it wasn't the only. We had kitchen duty today, and while the four hours were very very long... I had a blast. We sung songs, and entertained ourselves in numerous ways. Despite having to clean up after hundreds of other people, I had fun working with my friends. 

     

Feild Day... RIMON!

       Today was field training day! Looking back at the exclamation point, I realize it might misguide you to think it was fun. IT WAS A.. wait... my parents read this. In short, I was excited for the IDF training but I was not expecting the intensity this day was. We left S'de Boker (the base), to training grounds 10 minutes away by bus. This was after our fifteen minute wake up/get ready/get out call at 6:15 this morning. Oh, this is AFTER the 2 am and 5:30 am wake up calls to nearby tents. They weren't shy about being loud. In addition, the entire night spent in a tent in the Negev Desert which was freezing, let me tell you, the sky was dually possessed by stars and the shrill of fighter jets practicing overhead. They weren't just practicing flying in their noisy contraptions, but they were also firing rockets during their practice. I don't think I'll get use to this constant noise of fighter planes, far off gun shots, and blasts of rockets. I also heard them throughout the day. Anyway, back to the field, we learned what to do incase of a rimon (grenade), surprise attack, and how to sneak up on an enemy. This all involved running, camouflaging, hiding, dropping to the ground in a millisecond flat, and other strenious activity. After a LONG day, we learned we also had to walk/run back to our base! I learned very fast its one thing to take a run/walk in my nearby park and another to do that in the Desert for an hour with your equipment in uniform! Finally on base, there was even more drilling and commands and then we had two classes.  One was on the significance of uniforms and indicating your rank, the other class was on Tzahal tactics and past situations involving both ethics and politics revolving mostly around the raid on Entebbe. 

     All in all, I'm not going to say it was an easy.. in fact it was one of my most difficult days ever,  but I can also say I enjoyed today. With what I have written I cannot explain why, and with how I described the hardships above, you'll think I'm crazy! But, living through this training and admiring the terrain while doing so, and being apart of Tzahal, an army to make sure Mitzadah never falls again, I feel a sense of indescribable pride for my country. One that no amount of sand and dirt in my face, cuts from falling on rocks, burning sun beating down on us, or painstaking activity can ever take away from me.

"Well I Thought About the Army"

      First day of Gadna was ridiculously hard!!! I came prepared for just about anything, but... at the opening ceremony I got sick and felt like I was going to puke where I was standing! I got to the back of the line and sat down. I actually cried I felt so sick but it turns out I was just extremely dehydrated. All I knew was from when I could stand again until now, I have drank more water than I have in the last week! I feel much better, and I did eventually go back to the Opening Ceremony.

      All day we stood still in the acshev position (legs together, feet in "V" formation, hands in a diamond shape behind out back but above out belt line) and listened to orders barked at us. I never valued a single minute as much as I do right now, especially with every minute accounted for here. I already know we can do SO much with 60 seconds. All I can say is I value my time here SO much more than I have ever done so in the past. I got back to my tent and I crashed! Today was my first day, until I realized just now... today wasn't even a full day!!! We got here after lunch...